A Review

Hello everyone,

I apologize for my lengthy absence (I seem to do that a lot here), but don't worry, more recipes have been developed and will be coming soon.

But first, a review. And, full disclosure: Allrecipes sent me this product to try and review. I just received my AllRecipes Two-Tone Stainless Steel 8" frying pan and holy cow this thing is fantastic!

Looks gentle - and it is.

So far I've made goat steak, bibimbop, tomago, larb gai, and, pictured below, my low-carb flatbread pizza (recipe forthcoming). Usually this recipe is a pain in the butt to clean up in the pan and burns easily, but it just slid right out of the pan without issue (or nonstick spray) and it was cooked perfectly evenly.

I also should mention that this thing has some heft - great for double duty as self-defense in the event of a home invasion! #ad #ARCookware #AllrecipesAllstars

BACON!

So it's not exactly 'low fat.' But who the hell said bariatric eating had to be low-fat?

Bacon from scratch? Don't mind if I do.  #MyAllrecipes #AllrecipesAllstars

OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

Pizza Pinwheels

Prep Time: 20 minutes          Cook Time: 30 minutes

The humble pinwheel - paragons of artifice and cloggers of arteries everywhere. These party-platter inhabitors from childhood really have no place in a post-surgery world.

Or so we thought...

Parents of small children and those who long for the comfort of nostalgia rejoice, for the pinwheel has returned! These are also excellent with a barbeque chicken filling or turkey Cesar.

Gingerbread House

Prep Time: 5 minutes     Bake Time: 15 minutes    Assembly Time: Up to you    Add to MyFitnessPal

Ah Yuletide. That time of year when we come together over the Festivus Pole, Menorah, Christmas Tree, Yule Log, Kinara or other holiday tradition to celebrate with loved ones. And what tradition better exemplifies the winter holiday seasons of our childhood than a gingerbread house? Too bad we're WLS patients and not supposed to indulge any longer...



A bari-friendly gingerbread house? Heck yes!

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Prep Time: 15 minutes                          Cook Time: 5-6 minutes                           Add to MyFitnessPal

Hi all, the cookbook is coming along nicely, I'm hoping to have the Kickstarter up and running by the end of January. Unfortunately all that work on the cookbook has meant significant delays on the blog. Fortunately, today I have something grand for you, something several of you have asked for. Chocolate chip cookies.

 

YUM! SO GOOD!

Buffalo Thighs (and Wings)

Prep Time: 5 minutes                              Cook Time: 35 minutes                          Add to MyFitnessPal

Buffalo wings, a staple of taverns, parties, football games, and post-operative bariatric patients.

"What?" you might be wondering. "How can you say buffalo wings are a staple for bariatric patients? Aren't they terrible for you?" My answer is simple: NO! They're perfect for those of us, provided you make them right. The trick is to steam them before a full cook to create the same air pockets in the skin a deep fry would yield before broiling them to get that perfect crispy skin and succulent meat.

One thigh is the perfect serving size

Sometimes though, wings can be a little tedious, frustrating to pull apart, and downright expensive given the meat-to-bone ratio. It turns out that thighs can yield a very similar, if meatier, product. However, if you prefer to use wings, this recipe works just as well with wings as with thighs.

Eggs Baridict

Prep Time: 10 minutes                         Cook Time: 10 minutes                             Add to MyFitnessPal

Eggs Benedict, has there ever been a brunch so divine? I know some of you might be chicken and waffle people, don't worry that's coming - you too biscuits and gravy. But for me, the ultimate brunch is the classic Eggs Benedict.



Oh yes!

I put off trying to make a publishable version of this recipe because hollandaise can be so challenging/time consuming. That's right bari-family, I lacked faith in you and refused to post something I knew you would love because I feared you wouldn't put in the work necessary. I apologise. Oh, and I found a way to make hollandaise a snap!

Cauliflower Pizza Bagels

Prep Time: 10 minutes                         Cook Time: 40 minutes                    Add to MyFitnessPal

Sometimes I'm walking through the grocery store and end up, for one reason or another, strolling through the bakery section. In general, I don't remotely miss the doughnuts, even in the days of eating 2 or 3 at a time, they never really satisfied. But sometimes, every once in a while, I do miss a solid pizza bagel!

A little browned, but very good!

I've gone a good year without any bagel of any sort, it's time to reclaim the goodness of the bagel for a post-bariatric life!

These are actually pretty straightforward and not entirely different in composition from Caulibread, but there are a few key changes that yield that chewy, bagel-like texture. So when you give this recipe a try, do be careful to note the distinctions.

Ingredients:
Eggs - 2
Cauliflower - 1 cup or 1/3 of a head
Mozzarella, shredded - 1 cup
Sun dried tomatoes - 1/4 cup
Turkey pepperoni - 25 pieces (though goat pepperoni is better!)
Fennel seed - 1/2 tsp
Garlic powder - 1 tsp
Chili flakes - 3/4 tsp

Preparation:
Preheat the oven to 400F and then prepare your mise en place

An over-abundance of the garden and the charcuterie

Once you've got all your ingredient together, pop the cauliflower into a food processor and process until the texture of sand or else a puree, depending on how moist your cauliflower florets is.

You're going way beyond 'riced' here

Dice the pepperoni pieces and combine all ingredients.

Once you've got your 'batter' together, spray or grease a donut/bagel pan thoroughly. This step is particularly important as if you don't the bagels will not release from the pan, regardless of how 'nonstick' you pan.

This can be done in a muffin tin, but is much more satisfying in the bagel form

Spoon your batter into the greased bagel pan, being sure to fill each slot fully without spilling over ino the intermediate space.

YUM! Don't stress if they're not perfectly aligned to the pan, so long as you've greased all surfaces you're good.

Place the bagels-to-be into the oven at 400F until golden brown (or darker).

If they're any less done than this, you need to cook longer

Use a spatula to gently release the bagels from the edges of the pan and voila, pizza bagels. Do let them cool fully before you try them or the texture will be all wrong.

It's also worth noting that you can sub the pepperoni, fennel, and tomatoes for dried blueberries or even cinnamon and raisins.

Nutrition (per bagel/sixth of a recipe)
Calories: 115
Fat: 7 g
Carbs: 5 g
Protein: 11 g
Sodium: 326 mg

Ziscuits

Prep Time: 10 minutes                         Cook Time: 15 minutes                        Add to MyFitnessPal

Yet another recipe stumbled upon accidentally. Granted, I was trying to find a way to replicate the salty, buttery savor of a buttermilk biscuit with another recipe at the same time that I stumbled onto this one, but let me tell you, I sure didn't see it coming.

Let me set the stage - I'm out of cauliflower, but have an abundance of zucchini and yellow summer squash in the garden. I'm craving an egg and cheese sandwich, but am out of caulibread, so I figure: Hey! Why not try it with zucchini?

Turns out, the flavor reminded me of biscuits, it wasn't perfect, but it was a heckuva lot closer than that other batch of biscuit-attempt I'd had to feed to the hens. A little tinkering and thus was born the Ziscuit! Oh, and it's much easier to make than caulibread - as if that seemed possible.

Apricot Smoked Ribs

Prep Time: 10 minutes                  Cook Time: 3 hours 30 minutes                    Add to MyFitnessPal

Traditionally, slow smoked barbecue is high in fat and slathered in sugary, ridiculously high carbohydrate sauces that just don't fit a bariatric lifestyle - at least not more than a bite or two every many months. Fortunately, there's no reason whatsoever that traditional recipes can't be approximated, surpassed even, in ways that are completely compatible with a bariatric life, not to mention with the lifestyle's of most everyone else in your life. Enjoy!

My camera is in the shop - sorry for the low photo quality

Cinnamon Vanilla Waffles

Prep Time: 5 Minutes                   Cook Time: 2-3 Minutes/Waffle               Add to MyFitnessPal

Since I started Smye's Baridelicious Foods, I've received well over 100 requests for a good waffle recipe, along with more than my fair share of, shall we say, indignant, inquiries as to why I hadn't posted one yet. To put it bluntly, waffles have been hard. It's fairly easy to make a low carb, high protein waffle that tastes good, but the resulting texture is usually awful. It's also quite straightforward to make a low carb, high protein waffle with great texture, but they tend to lack flavor. It's also not too hard to make one with amazing flavor, great texture and a whole lot of junk ingredients - which sort of defeats the whole purpose of this blog, no?

But finally, after well over two dozen attempts, I bring you Cinnamon Vanilla Waffles that taste great, have incredible texture, and have nothing in the way of artificiality about them.

Delicious, fluffy perfection

Oh, and they're pretty easy to make too. One batch makes six waffles that freeze & toast up wonderfully - though good luck eating a whole one in a single sitting.

Curly Fries

Prep Time: 7 minutes                        Cook Time: 10 minutes                   Add to MyFitnessPal

Curly fries - those time-honored savory treats from childhood - are a classic July food. They're also packed with starch, breading, and fried in 10-day-old oil. But dang they taste SO good! And it turns out, they're a piece of cake to make and they can actually be good for you.

They go great with Smye's Catsup

Using this particular spice mixture, these taste nearly identical to those served at a particular fast food restaurant that famously serves roast beef sandwiches - but feel free to play with the spices and make to suit your own tastes.

Turkey Meatballs

Prep Time: 5 Minutes                        Cook Time: 10 Minutes                              Add to MyFitnessPal

Do you ever crave a big, heaping bowl of spaghetti and meatballs? If you're like me and have had weightloss surgery, there's nothing I can do to help you with the heaping part, but spaghetti and meatballs, it turns out, are a synch!

Can't believe how easy these are

These meatballs only take about 15 minutes from ingredients-in-the-fridge to meat-on-your-plate and the taste is incredible! And you don't even have to worry about breadcrumbs. Looking for the full spaghetti meal? Don't worry, that post is coming soon! These are also super versatile - I love them in curries, soups, sandwiches, pasta, and even tacos (weird, I know). 

Berry Sorbet

Preparation Time: 5 minutes                   Chill Time: 20-40 minutes                      Add to MyFitnessPal

There's no reason to say goodbye to sweet frozen treats on a hot summer day. It's just a matter of what we put in them and how much of each we eat. And THIS sorbet is one you can just about fill your pouch (or bypass, or DS, or balloon, or whatever) on. It's fast, it's sweet, it's tart, it's made of whole foods and, most of all, it's delicious!

Blueberry sorbet - my personal favorite!

(And oh yeah, it can help you poop, but it won't overpoop those of you who are already regular).

Buffalo Bleu Chicken Macaroni & Cheese

Preparation Time: 5 minutes                      Cook Time: 5 minutes             Add to MyFitnessPal

What's that you say? The photo looks like the nasty, gluey, salt-laden, carb-heavy, fat-soaked, artificial-as-heck and, admittedly, not so tasty stuff you used to order at the diner at 2 in the morning back in the days of late night hangover cures and binge-eating junk food.

Sorry, the lens got a little steamy

Don't worry, it's nothing like that. Believe it or not, this mac n' cheese is wholesome, has as much vitamin C as a cup of orange juice, and tastes incredible. It's a little rich for my taste most nights, but on special occasions it really hits the spot!

Greens, Eggs, & Hash

Prep Time:  10 minutes                       Cook Time:  25 minutes                        Add to MyFitnessPal

One of my all-time favorite breakfasts pre-op was a quick hash with fried eggs. Turns out, it's also a perfect high protein way to start your day post-op as well. Not to mention the fact that you can either reheat it later for eating on over 3 or 4 days, but you can also serve this to family and friends without fear that it will taste like 'diet food' to them.

A big heaping mess of yum!

This recipe is also incredible with turnips, parsnips, rutabagas, or sweet potato in place of the cauliflower!

Chili Lime Chicken Burgers

Prep Time - 15 minutes                       Cook Time - 10 minutes                        Add to MyFitnessPal

Normally I'm a staunch advocate of beef, bison, or goat-based burgers. I can't stand those dry hockey-puck turkey patties you can buy at the big box stores. They taste like the sport they're most reminiscent of.

These, on the otherhand, are juicy, fully of flavor, and tender as can be. There's nothing lost from the omission of red meat. In fact, only chicken could highlight the interplay of the chili and the lime so well as this. Oh, and you can make a bunch ahead of time, freeze them and then cook them up later without loss of flavor or texture.

Just enough kick to really bring out the flavor without being overpowering for your guests

Catsup

Prep Time: 5 minutes                               Cook Time: 0 minutes                       Add to MyFitnessPal

It can be hard to find a good catsup that fits with a bariatric lifestyle. The ones on the shelves of your local grocer are either full of high in sugar, loaded with high fructose corn syrup, have a sodium count through the roof, taste terrible, or cost a boatload. And maybe paying a boatload is worth it to you - in that case, more power to you (feel free to let me know, I'll gladly make you catsup myself for half of whatever they're charging at your grocer for catsup with the same ingredients.)



There's no reason to ever live without condiments again.

That said, it turns out you don't need my help or the help of Catsups-R-Us. This bari-friendly catsup is easy and fast to make. Oh, and it tastes pretty good too!

Grilled Chicken Strips

Prep Time: 5 minutes                         Cook Time: 30 minutes                Add to MyFitnessPal

We all know the delicious grilled chicken strips you find on a restaurant salad or buy frozen at the grocery store are pumped full of saline, spices, starches, MSG, and a dozen difficult-to-pronounce ingredients, not to mention wicked expensive.

And we've all tried to make our own without success - they're dry, flavorless, or undercooked almost every time we try to make them. What's the secret? How can we get juicy, succulent, and incredibly delicious chicken strips for our salads without having to buy it premade?

Chicken strips make the perfect salad topping

Chipotle Philly Cheesesteak

Prep Time: 15-20 minutes                   Cook Time: 3 minutes                          Add to MyFitnessPal

Another food I thought I'd have to say goodbye to when I had WLS, the Philly cheesesteak was a sandwich I first tried in second grade while on vacation with a friend's family. It was greasy, rich, and, from that day forward, reminded me of walking down the boardwalk with my buddy on a warm spring day. Satisfaction in food form.

Many years later my first roommate, a recent émigré from Juarez, introduced me to homemade chipotle chiles in adobo sauce. I introduced him to the Philly Cheesesteak. A new sandwich was born. And what do you know, given only a few small modifications, it fits a bariatric lifestyle perfectly!



Not half bad, despite being only half a sandwich