Cauliflower Pizza Bagels

Prep Time: 10 minutes                         Cook Time: 40 minutes                    Add to MyFitnessPal

Sometimes I'm walking through the grocery store and end up, for one reason or another, strolling through the bakery section. In general, I don't remotely miss the doughnuts, even in the days of eating 2 or 3 at a time, they never really satisfied. But sometimes, every once in a while, I do miss a solid pizza bagel!

A little browned, but very good!

I've gone a good year without any bagel of any sort, it's time to reclaim the goodness of the bagel for a post-bariatric life!

These are actually pretty straightforward and not entirely different in composition from Caulibread, but there are a few key changes that yield that chewy, bagel-like texture. So when you give this recipe a try, do be careful to note the distinctions.

Ingredients:
Eggs - 2
Cauliflower - 1 cup or 1/3 of a head
Mozzarella, shredded - 1 cup
Sun dried tomatoes - 1/4 cup
Turkey pepperoni - 25 pieces (though goat pepperoni is better!)
Fennel seed - 1/2 tsp
Garlic powder - 1 tsp
Chili flakes - 3/4 tsp

Preparation:
Preheat the oven to 400F and then prepare your mise en place

An over-abundance of the garden and the charcuterie

Once you've got all your ingredient together, pop the cauliflower into a food processor and process until the texture of sand or else a puree, depending on how moist your cauliflower florets is.

You're going way beyond 'riced' here

Dice the pepperoni pieces and combine all ingredients.

Once you've got your 'batter' together, spray or grease a donut/bagel pan thoroughly. This step is particularly important as if you don't the bagels will not release from the pan, regardless of how 'nonstick' you pan.

This can be done in a muffin tin, but is much more satisfying in the bagel form

Spoon your batter into the greased bagel pan, being sure to fill each slot fully without spilling over ino the intermediate space.

YUM! Don't stress if they're not perfectly aligned to the pan, so long as you've greased all surfaces you're good.

Place the bagels-to-be into the oven at 400F until golden brown (or darker).

If they're any less done than this, you need to cook longer

Use a spatula to gently release the bagels from the edges of the pan and voila, pizza bagels. Do let them cool fully before you try them or the texture will be all wrong.

It's also worth noting that you can sub the pepperoni, fennel, and tomatoes for dried blueberries or even cinnamon and raisins.

Nutrition (per bagel/sixth of a recipe)
Calories: 115
Fat: 7 g
Carbs: 5 g
Protein: 11 g
Sodium: 326 mg

Easy Kimchi

Prep time: 1 hour                                Fermentation time: 3-7 days                     Add to MyFitnessPal

Ever wonder what goes into that sour, sweet, hot, salty, umami bomb known as kimchi? You look into the jar at the grocery store and see red, orange, yellow cabbage, carrots, maybe a bok choi or two and think, how do they make that stuff? And why is it so disgusting/amazing? And if you can buy it in the store, why on earth would you bother making it? And why does it get eaten so much in the hottest part of the summer.

Hot, yet strangely cooling. It looks a little funky, but there' no better condiment on the planet

I know, I know, fermented foods are kind of polarizing. You either love them, hate them, or are too scared to try them. But get this, not only are they tasty, but the National Institutes of Health recently published several studies in which they concluded that Kimchi has the benefits of being "anticancer, antiobesity, antoconstipation, colorectal health promoting, probiotic, cholesterol reducing, fibrolytic, antioxidative, antiaging, brain health promoting, immune system promoting, and skin health promoting." In short, forget everything you've heard about goji and acai berries, kimchi is the ultimate superfood! Not only does it have the lactofermentation benefits, but the each of the main ingredients carries its own suite of incredible nutrient. Too bad a lot of the storebought stuff has been pasturized and cut the benefits, according to the folks over at Livestrong, in half.

As for eating Kimchi in the summertime - it turns out that spicy fermented foods stimulate a cooling homeostatic response in the body, leaving you feeling (and actually) significantly cooler after you've eaten it.

Oh, and it tastes pretty darned good too :). I'll be posting a kimchi soup recipe here in the next few weeks, and it's indispensable on Bibimbop. Can you tell I love the stuff?

CauliBread

Prep Time:  15 minutes                 Cook Time: 15 minutes                    Add to MyFitnessPal

Several of you have already met BariBread. BariBread was nice. It seemed to like you and you had similar interests. The two of you could hang out on weekends - at least, that is, if you didn't have anything else going on. But given the chance to hang out with CarboBread again, you'd have jumped at the chance. It wasn't that BariBread wasn't meeting your needs, but maybe BariBread lost some of its luster after the first 200 slices. Maybe you're looking for something with a little more body, something you can really heat up instead - or maybe you even want to keep BariBread on the side for when you're in the mood, but just need a little variety in your life.

Friends, meet CauliBread - the perfect companion for BariBread to add body & heat things up.


Wait, you can make grilled cheese with it?

Goat Cheese Pizza Crust

Prep Time: 15 minutes                   Cook Time: 35 minutes                   Add to MyFitnessPal

 

This crust is also excellent and has a heartier, easier to hold texture than the 1:1:1 crust. The flavor is ever so slightly tangy with the goat cheese and the higher dose of cauliflower is excellent - though I admit I still prefer the flavor of the other crust. The major advantage of this crust is after the initial bake, you can freeze the crust with 'raw' toppings easily and then pull it out and stick in the oven at 400F until a desired done-ness is achieved - homemade frozen pizza! 

 

Smoked Goat Pizza - A Great Use of Leftovers

 

1-1-1 Pizza Crust

Prep Time: 15 minutes                   Cook Time:   20 minutes              Add to MyFitnessPal

I struggled with a similar recipe for a long time but for the life of me couldn't get a 'small' version of this pizza to work. Every time I tried to make this pizza, I ended up with either a pie far to large for me to eat before it went bad or else something more akin to goo than pizza crust. And yet, it was so simple 1-1-1 (similar to, but much more successful than a certain former politicians SIMS-derived 999 tax plan). The texture isn't perfect (I'll be posting the ideal texture version in a few minutes), but the flavor is excellent! This is probably my favorite crust, especially with some red pepper flakes mixed in for just a smidgeon of heat.

Oh pizza, it's good to have you back

Pink Pickled Breakfast Eggs

Prep Time - 5 Minutes   Cook Time - 40 minutes   Pickling Time - 10-30 days     Add to MyFitnessPal

 

Maybe you've had pickled eggs at the store. Maybe you liked them. If you did, I think you're a little odd, but we can still be friends. Maybe you hated them, in that case I'm with you. I was doubtful at first when my partner first suggested I look into pickling an excess of duck eggs. However, I was getting 2-3 dozen eggs a day and, despite selling to 30 families, had a huge surpluss, so I figured what the heck. I'll go for it. It took some serious trial and error, but WOW, these are incredible! I've used chicken eggs for this recipe as I doubt most of you have duck eggs (though duck eggs are FAR superior) and the calorie count below is a bit of an overestimate as it assumes you drink all the pickling liquid and eat 1/3 of a beet with every egg. So enjoy freely. A bariatric-friendly adaptation from a recipe I first read in Mother Earth News, these make an eggcellent breakfast on the go!

PHOTOS OF THE FINISHED PRODUCT COMING SOON - MORE BELOW THE JUMP

Blackberry Barbecue Sauce

Prep Time - 2-3 minutes           Cook Time - 0 minutes            Add to MyFitnessPal

 

Although I prefer this with 1/4 c of honey rather than the stevia when using on the grill, this certainly gets the job done as a dipping sauce. Turns out  we use a LOT less when we brush it on before grilling, and eat a lot more of the stuff when dipping. Thus, I give you, the dipping "go wild" version of this tasty barbecue sauce.

 

PHOTOS COMING SOON

Tofu Madras Curry

 Prep time: 20 minutes      Cook Time: 35 minutes               Add to MyFitnessPal

 

For those of you who don't like tofu, think it flavorless or without any real worth - you've never had good tofu! This recipe is more work than most I'll be posting, but is perfect for the vegan in your home and still absolutely delightful. The final step may sound vile, but trust me, this is the best use of unflavored protein powder I've ever found - who knew there was a way to sub protein powder for coconut milk flawlessly? Although this recipe takes a little longer, it's well worth every moment! I'll also post a 'shortcut' version in a little later this afternoon for those of you who aren't keen on spending this much time in the kitchen.

 

PHOTOS COMING SOON

BariBread

Prep time - 10 minutes          Cook time - 20-30 minutes                 Add to MyFitnessPal

 

Let's start with the basics. I'm sure many of us wish we could still have some sort of bread, even if only as a vehicle for meat, eggs, or cheese on our sandwiches. Despite their apparent simplicity, this riff on Paleo Oopsie Rolls have a great flavor reminiscent of potato bread and is easily modifiable to suit most any palatte.

 

You know you miss it