Cauliflower Pizza Bagels

Prep Time: 10 minutes                         Cook Time: 40 minutes                    Add to MyFitnessPal

Sometimes I'm walking through the grocery store and end up, for one reason or another, strolling through the bakery section. In general, I don't remotely miss the doughnuts, even in the days of eating 2 or 3 at a time, they never really satisfied. But sometimes, every once in a while, I do miss a solid pizza bagel!

A little browned, but very good!

I've gone a good year without any bagel of any sort, it's time to reclaim the goodness of the bagel for a post-bariatric life!

These are actually pretty straightforward and not entirely different in composition from Caulibread, but there are a few key changes that yield that chewy, bagel-like texture. So when you give this recipe a try, do be careful to note the distinctions.

Ingredients:
Eggs - 2
Cauliflower - 1 cup or 1/3 of a head
Mozzarella, shredded - 1 cup
Sun dried tomatoes - 1/4 cup
Turkey pepperoni - 25 pieces (though goat pepperoni is better!)
Fennel seed - 1/2 tsp
Garlic powder - 1 tsp
Chili flakes - 3/4 tsp

Preparation:
Preheat the oven to 400F and then prepare your mise en place

An over-abundance of the garden and the charcuterie

Once you've got all your ingredient together, pop the cauliflower into a food processor and process until the texture of sand or else a puree, depending on how moist your cauliflower florets is.

You're going way beyond 'riced' here

Dice the pepperoni pieces and combine all ingredients.

Once you've got your 'batter' together, spray or grease a donut/bagel pan thoroughly. This step is particularly important as if you don't the bagels will not release from the pan, regardless of how 'nonstick' you pan.

This can be done in a muffin tin, but is much more satisfying in the bagel form

Spoon your batter into the greased bagel pan, being sure to fill each slot fully without spilling over ino the intermediate space.

YUM! Don't stress if they're not perfectly aligned to the pan, so long as you've greased all surfaces you're good.

Place the bagels-to-be into the oven at 400F until golden brown (or darker).

If they're any less done than this, you need to cook longer

Use a spatula to gently release the bagels from the edges of the pan and voila, pizza bagels. Do let them cool fully before you try them or the texture will be all wrong.

It's also worth noting that you can sub the pepperoni, fennel, and tomatoes for dried blueberries or even cinnamon and raisins.

Nutrition (per bagel/sixth of a recipe)
Calories: 115
Fat: 7 g
Carbs: 5 g
Protein: 11 g
Sodium: 326 mg

Ziscuits

Prep Time: 10 minutes                         Cook Time: 15 minutes                        Add to MyFitnessPal

Yet another recipe stumbled upon accidentally. Granted, I was trying to find a way to replicate the salty, buttery savor of a buttermilk biscuit with another recipe at the same time that I stumbled onto this one, but let me tell you, I sure didn't see it coming.

Let me set the stage - I'm out of cauliflower, but have an abundance of zucchini and yellow summer squash in the garden. I'm craving an egg and cheese sandwich, but am out of caulibread, so I figure: Hey! Why not try it with zucchini?

Turns out, the flavor reminded me of biscuits, it wasn't perfect, but it was a heckuva lot closer than that other batch of biscuit-attempt I'd had to feed to the hens. A little tinkering and thus was born the Ziscuit! Oh, and it's much easier to make than caulibread - as if that seemed possible.

Apricot Smoked Ribs

Prep Time: 10 minutes                  Cook Time: 3 hours 30 minutes                    Add to MyFitnessPal

Traditionally, slow smoked barbecue is high in fat and slathered in sugary, ridiculously high carbohydrate sauces that just don't fit a bariatric lifestyle - at least not more than a bite or two every many months. Fortunately, there's no reason whatsoever that traditional recipes can't be approximated, surpassed even, in ways that are completely compatible with a bariatric life, not to mention with the lifestyle's of most everyone else in your life. Enjoy!

My camera is in the shop - sorry for the low photo quality

Cinnamon Vanilla Waffles

Prep Time: 5 Minutes                   Cook Time: 2-3 Minutes/Waffle               Add to MyFitnessPal

Since I started Smye's Baridelicious Foods, I've received well over 100 requests for a good waffle recipe, along with more than my fair share of, shall we say, indignant, inquiries as to why I hadn't posted one yet. To put it bluntly, waffles have been hard. It's fairly easy to make a low carb, high protein waffle that tastes good, but the resulting texture is usually awful. It's also quite straightforward to make a low carb, high protein waffle with great texture, but they tend to lack flavor. It's also not too hard to make one with amazing flavor, great texture and a whole lot of junk ingredients - which sort of defeats the whole purpose of this blog, no?

But finally, after well over two dozen attempts, I bring you Cinnamon Vanilla Waffles that taste great, have incredible texture, and have nothing in the way of artificiality about them.

Delicious, fluffy perfection

Oh, and they're pretty easy to make too. One batch makes six waffles that freeze & toast up wonderfully - though good luck eating a whole one in a single sitting.

Sour Apple Kale Smoothie

Prep Time: 3 Minutes                         Cook Time: 0 Minutes                       Add to MyFitnessPal

I'm not shy about the fact that I simply cannot stand the taste, the texture, or the overall savor of raw kale. Don't get me wrong, I know it's good for me, and I absolutely LOVE it wilted in a stir fry, pickled next to a sandwich, or mixed into soups and stocks. But raw? BLECH!

I've tried dressing it up in acidic salad dressings to soften the texture, I've massaged it, I've blended it, I've juiced it, I've even tried deeping meaningful conversation with it to improve our relationship. All to no avail.


Hey, that's actually pretty darned good!

Until now. Completely by accident, while attempting to make a magnesium nutrient slurry for the garden I discovered this incredible sour apple kale smoothie. Give it a try, I think you'll be as surprised as I was how delicious raw kale can actually be when a little home chemistry is applied.

Experiments in Charcuterie - Part 3: Duck Tasting & Goat Prosciutto Day 1

The duck is ready! And goodness is it amazing!

Surprisingly delicious (okay, not a surprise)

I overdid it on the white pepper a bit, but overall it's excellent stuff. I particularly like it wrapped around melon, on cucumbers, and in the omelets I'm eating as I write this. All in all, VERY worth my time, I'll absolutely be doing it again.

Given my success with the duck prosciutto, I've decided to continue my experimentation but didn't really want to invest a lot into the various ingredients required for working with larger cuts of meat. Thankfully A neighbor was kind enough to gift me with a few 'extras' after seeing my earlier charcuterie posts. What did he gift me, you ask?

5 Months, 135 Pounds Down

You've read my "What Does 100 lb Look Like?" page. You celebrated with me. Maybe you're pre-op and marveled a bit thinking "no way I can do that" (yes, yes you can!). Maybe you're post-op and you thought "wow, lookin' good, you're making great progress" (thank you!)

Or maybe you said to yourself "Really? I thought it would look like more!" If you're in that last camp, you read my mind. The next 35 pounds, however, was at least as significant, if not far moreso, than the first 100. What's after the jump will really blow your mind!